It's almost 3 am and I've been tossing and turning for the past 2 hours. Who knows why I can't fall back asleep. I literally cannot turn my brain off. And I'm so thankful I have Fall Break this week because I would not be happy if I had to get up for work in a few hours. I don't know what I keep thinking about. It seems to be a random list of things ranging from the HUGE pile of thank you notes to finish, wondering when these past 2 weeks of contractions will finally turn into the real deal, worrying about my father-in-law who is in the hospital recovering from surgery, to just being frustrated that I can't fall asleep. So here I am, with a cup of caffeine free tea in hand, ready to update this very neglected blog.
These past few months have been craziness. I mean, our lives are about to change drastically but the changing process has already begun. I'm not sure who at 7 months pregnant decides to start a new job, but yes that's me. I needed a change. I needed to feel inspired. And I certainly needed a job that I absolutely loved in order to leave my baby home in someone else's care. I also wanted a part-time job but needed to hold onto my benefits since Aaron is self employed and we all know that self employed benefits are way too expensive. In a very God directed chain of events, I found myself transferring at the beginning of August into the School Health program, which is within the Health Department so everything transferred with me. The wonderful thing about being a school nurse is that you work when school is open. It's considered part time but I kept my benefits! You basically work 71% of the year. Fall break, Christmas break, Spring break, summers off. It's perfect. Better yet, I got placed at the most amazing school. I love love love my job. I work at the school that is only for children with extreme special needs. Most of these kids have cerebral palsy or other brain injury related disabilities. The don't talk, they are all in wheelchairs, many don't eat food by mouth. But they are kids. I see past all of the "things" that make people stare at them and see beautiful children who have stolen my heart. I am responsible for the first through third graders, 14 students and they are the most precious adorable little people I've had the pleasure of working with. They make me smile every day. They have truly enriched my life. The school itself is truly phenominal and so is the staff. This is the only school within Metro that has more than one nurse placed at it. We have 7 RN's plus our Nursing Supervisor due to the high medical aquity of the children. And in my opinion, these are fabulous nurses. To work at this school, you have to be one special person, otherwise you wouldn't be able to handle what we deal with all day long. It was such a HUGE God blessing and I am enjoying getting back into Nursing mode after being in Case Management for the past 3 years.
We're on Fall Break this week and the plan is for me to start Maternity leave after fall break and then there's the Holiday break so I won't be returning to work until Jan. 4. I really will miss my kids and coworkers and I know that I won't be able to stay away while on leave. I'll be going up there all the time just to see everyone. But I'm glad to have time to be home with Addy as well. And it will be during my favorite time of the year!
Speaking of Fall Break, I'm not quite sure what to do with myself this week. I've nested and nested and everything is done and ready. I really didn't think I would make it this long since I'm on my feet all day long. But here I am, 39 weeks and so very very ready to be done. Addyson Grace is taking her sweet time. On one level, I'm ok with that but on another, I'm not. Selfishly, I'm so sick of being pregnant. And although I've had a very easy pregnancy, minus the battle with awful sciatic nerve pain, I'm at the end, I can't wear shoes and I'm just tired of waddling. Thank goodness I started seeing a chirorpracter who had to realign my pelvis which immediately relieved the nerve pain. It was AWFUL! I couldn't walk. And now, I get adjusted weekly and I feel great. No pain. I'm just so sick of wearing flip flops and maternity jeans...
I've had nights of contractions for 2 weeks. I'm talking about every 3-4 minutes over a minute long. They are intense but never lead to anything. It's ridiculous. I keep longing for my water to just break so I can finally call my midwife and say, "it's time!" I was drugging myself with Tylenol PM so they wouldn't keep me up all night but I also don't want to affect Addy if she was really working on her grand entrance into our world. However, tonight would have been a good night for drugs...
Everything is ready, we're just waiting on here. Even I keep saying how ready I am but I will be honest and admit there are times when I don't feel ready. I'm thankful to have such an amazing birth partner who I love so dearly. Aaron is truly the best. We finished our Hypnobabies class, which was so enjoyable and even though we haven't been practicing like we should, I know that it's going to help make my labor way more comfortable.
I just want to meet her. I'm trying not to get frustrated by the amount of people that keep asking for baby news. There is nothing worse than being at the end of pregnancy, wishing you could magically make your baby come out and have people constantly asking about it. I know they mean well but it's also frustrating. I think too that people forget I'm a nurse and I educated pregnant women for years about healthy pregnancies and babies. It's funny the advice I've gotten, without asking for it, about things. I guess that's life. I almost didn't go to church because I just can't bear to hear people comment on not having this baby yet or how much longer, etc. Like I said, I know they mean well but it's rough.
Alright, it's 3:30 now. I'm wondering if sleep tonight is just not going to happen. Do I try again or work on that huge pile of thank you notes that I've been avoiding? I'm thinking cuddling up to my sweet hubby sounds more enjoyable than having to write the same thank you line repeatedly. :)
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